What the world needs now....

There are some things that I truly believe, in the very bottom of my heart the world could use more of. For instance:

• Bubble Wrap - I dare you to resist the soft crackle of the bubble wrap beckoning you to desert all your cares with wild abandon.

• Ukulele - Is it possible to be in a bad mood while listening to the intonations of this instrument of happiness and joy. It's sweet sound conjures up pineapple (King of fruits), the beach and frolicking baby sheep (or maybe thats just me)

• Flip Flops - No socks.....need I say more

• Flowers - To make my house all pretty!

• VitaMix Blenders - You have no idea what you are missing if you have never used one of these (even better when your mom lets you kidnap hers indefinitely)
• Hulu.com - perfect for really ghetto people like myself who don't have a functioning TV

Crazy in da' head

The crazy lady at work is no longer content just giving me hugs. Nope - now she thinks she can kiss me too and tell me she loves me - no lie! Why does she think that this is okay!? Nothing will stop her either - I mean last time I was in the middle of eating a sandwich for lunch with my eyes glued to my computer screen - but still she was not deterred! The worst part is, the whole office thinks it is hilarious, and she only does this to me! It is real hard to keep a straight face when she heads in my direction and everyone is giving me the 'You Know You Are Gonna Burst Out In A Fit of Laughter Face' which is very, very hard for me to remain sincere and nice-seeming through.

Venting

Why did someone steal my cell phone - for the love! I mean it is old, and beat up and I want my dang numbers! Also - why take my car key!? Why!? Is it really fair for this to happen so soon after my iPod catastrophe?? Not to mention my premature car battery death and expensive brake replacement job? And my achilles injury and getting two cavities, which cost money to get all fixed up? Also, when did diesel fuel get more expensive than the regular kind? Not fair! And I think I got a photo-radar ticket! Grrrr - I feel that life is laughing at me - but it's NOT funny life!? Go pick on someone else! Pretty pleeeeeeease?

Thinking

The movie 'Red Dawn' is quite possibly the worst movie ever.

How to Amuse Me

Wear a kilt out in public.

Things I Know

My bed is more comfortable than a $2 blow-up pool raft.

Wondering

When will I be able to buy goods and services with Monopoly money?

Wondering

Should I use my dead iPod as a drink coaster or maybe a paperweight? I really feel I should put it to some good use since it cost me a GAJILLION DOLLARS!!!!

How to Amuse Me

Get your panties all in a bundle, when the vending machine doesn't work right.

All In a Day's Work

Here is a typical email conversation between me and J:
K: I was just wondering.......what would you do for a Klondike
bar?
J: Almost anything
K: I believe it! Would you traverse the seven seas in a wheelbarrow?
J: What seven seas would you be speaking about???
K: I really think that's besides the point.
J: Don't you cop an attitude with me young lady
K: I just think we're getting away from the real issue here.
J: Well then I'm ready to go no matter the seven seas.
K: I am glad to hear that your dedication for getting a Klondike bar is
not hampered by large bodies of water.
J: Exactly, I am committed.

How to Charm Me

Tell me my abstract art is good. I know it's not, but seriously I was kind of convinced.

How to Annoy Me

Talk about your pet as if it were a child. I don't care about it's lineage or it's cute hi-jinks or whether it is working on the cure for cancer. Also, I don't want to pet your smelly beast or hold it or send it a singing telegram. And now according to some people I have no soul.

Wondering

If there is some sort of addictive substance in peanut butter, like.......crack cocaine? Because seriously I can't seem to get enough of the stuff.

Thinking

That what the world needs not is not so much love, but a big vat of strawberry Jell-O.

Thinking

That today would be a better day if I hadn't accidentally ruined my iPod. By dropping it. In a toilet. A PUBLIC restroom toilet.
This is the same iPod that I referred to as 'The Precious'. The same iPod that I looked at & caressed lovingly on a daily basis. The same iPod that I sold my future first-born child for. Okay this is all mostly untrue, but in essence I cared about my iPod deeply and will not have the funds to buy another one anytime soon. Why does everything I love leave me!?