Dear _____

Dear Jiffy Lube,
Your magazine selection of Highlights and Golfers Monthly is not really doing it for me.

Sincerely,

Not a 5 year old child or 40 year old male plaid wearing enthusiast

Musings

I like it best when batteries are included.

Tears Happen

I can only think of a few things off the top of my head that make me get teary-eyed/emotional - Charles Dickens books or Les Miserables, the movie Seabiscuit (which is why I will never watch it again), and traffic tickets (and these are tears of anger). Overall I am more like a ninja, and we all know that ninjas never cry. Sometimes though something will hit me hard and out of the blue I will become sentimental. This happened twice today
Here and here. (For the record though, only one made my 'eyes water')

Just to even things out this is something that made me laugh.

Things I Like

Here are some things I like. If you don't that's OK, it just means you are a bad person.

1. Dr Bronner's Pure Castille Soap

This stuff is great. Its foamy and pure (according to the label, which means it is true) doesn't take much to leave you all squeaky clean and it makes my skin nice, I even feel good about using it on my face.
I have the lavender and a little peppermint one for my gym bag. I like both (maybe the peppermint slightly better cause it makes your skin feel tingly).

2. This sweater from Old Navy
Good for Az since it is pretty lightweight. Mostly though I love the cut and color.

3. Tuex Deux
It lets you make a to do list for every day and the things that you dont cross off on one day automatically get carried over to the next. Its really simple to use and I like the layout. If you are a to do list type of person this is awesome.

4. Kindle 3
I have wanted a kindle for ages. Finally though I realized that it was actually a good investment! (I'm super adept at rationalizing 'wants' into' needs' - its a gift really). Firstly, I read a lot and consequently buy lots of books, whereas many Kindle books are free and, if not, almost always cheaper than you would buy in the store.The minimalism of it also really appealed to me since now all my books will be on my kindle taking up no space! Also, the battery last forever. You can make the Kindle read to you (dance monkey dance!). Its really light, and it looks like you are actually reading print so no eye strain. And it has a built in dictionary to look up any words that you don't know (thereby making me smarter!) It will also make you a well balanced breakfast each morning.

5. This music:
The Morning Benders
'Promises' is a good 'un. I like everything on their new album (the previous one is also good just not as good)



Meaghan Smith
'A Little Sleep'
This is the song that hooked me, but her whole album The Crickets Orchestra is super! I like literally every single song. It has a very whimsicle 1930's vibe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJX6Cp4t6-A&feature=related


Fun.
I listen to this album to the point where it would be worn out if that were possible
'Light a Roman Candle' is my fave. I put it on and it makes crappy days seem not crappy!



Arcade Fire
'The Suburbs'
Love it! I feel that you will too.



Dashboard Confessional
"Belle of the Boulevard"
I have always liked DC but this is a newer song of theirs. It be a good one y'all!



6. Mangosteen fruit.
These are yum! I find them at the Asian grocery store sometimes and they are delicious! Like the fruit you would find in a magical land of unicorns.

7. This blog.
I have to avoid reading this at work or one of two scenarios happen. I either:
A. Erupt into embarrassing laughter (which may or may not involve snorting)
B. Have to hold my breath to avoid laughter (see above) until I am on the verge of passing out. 


8. This video. Holy crap this awesome! (or disturbing depending on how you look at it).



9. Waking up early (this was a test, I do NOT love waking up early. If you believed me. FAIL!)

10. The Hunger Games series.

Sure these books sound lame when you read the synopsis, and yes people may think you are retarded if you try to describe the plot, and true - it is young adult fiction which is kind of embarrassing. Bottom line:  I devoured these books like a fat kid devours candy bars.

11.  Comfy Shoes, specifically:

Feiyue brand Washu sneakers
Do I know how to pronounce this? Absolutely not. Do I not even care, because these shoes are the best? A thousand times yes! They are comfy and I like how they look - in the picture they look sort of questionable but are much cooler in person. Although, if they looked gross I would probably still wear them because of the comfortable-ness.

AND

Vibram Five Fingers
Yah buddy - they look super weird but you can't beat a shoe that lets you essentially walk around barefoot while still being hygienic.


12. El Gallo Blanco 
This is a restaurant attached to the Clarendon hotel in Phoenix. They have flamenco dancing every Wednesday night. The food is good and not super pricey. The chips and guacamole were especially good. When I was there the lead singer from the gypsy kings was there playing for the flamenco dancers.

13. Sharpie Pens

The perfect pen. They don't bleed, don't rub off like gel pens. I cant have too many of these.

An Apple A Day

Sometimes I don't take the stickers off of apples before I eat them. This is pure laziness on my part, I just think its a pain and I don't like to.

There are the little devils right there

I tell myself that I will take it off later and take a bite from the apple closest to the sticker and eat in the opposite direction, in order to avoid taking it off as long as possible.
Here is my point though: Sometimes I forget to take off the sticker.
(Meaning: I eat the sticker.)
Eating stickers can't be healthy. I don't see them popping up on any food pyramids, I wonder if I should I be concerned....

A Fummy Bideo

There is probably nothing more fantastic than getting some cavities filled in the morning before work and then feeling like a goober the next couple of hours while the Novocain wears off. Seriously awesome. In honor of that I have decided to post this.

What Not To Do

I found this. A list of the 100 worst songs ever. Did I decide to ignore the warning bells going on in my brain saying "Danger! Danger!" and listen to most of these gems? Yes, yes I did. Am I more susceptible than most to songs getting wedged in my brain space, between the nooks and crannies? Yes I am. Could doing something like this be the catalyst to a downward spiral into insanity? Quite possibly. Do I secretly like some of the songs on this list? ..................... Yes (don't judge!)

Things I know

Every time I wear pointy toed shoes, it hits me: My feet are not pointy like the toes of these shoes!

Verrrrrrrrry Interesting

I don't have any student loans and after reading this I am all the more grateful.

Thinking

What amount of innocent puppies did I kill in a previous life to deserve an earache of this magnitude?
Also, isn't it against the laws of nature to get an earache past the age of 10??
Also, between death and earaches, I think earaches are probably more painful.

If You Want Some Awesome in Your Life (and a killer jingle!!)

Please watch this. Just. Please.

How To Cause Me Sadness

Nothing hurts my tender heart more than when someone doesn't get it when I am being funny or telling a joke. Like the other day when some friends and I were deciding where to go to dinner. Someone mentioned a restaurant and another person asked how far away it was. He said 10 minutes by car. I then asked how long it would take by unicycle - feeling that it was unfair to exclude all other types of transportation. After what I thought was a hilarious joke there was lots of confusion and what can only be described as mass hysteria. No one understood and they wanted clarification and that is when I died a little bit inside.

Better Than One of Those Prizes In The Cracker Jack Box Before They Got Lame, Probably Sometime Around 1947

I read this article and realized that I also know about the economy. Up to this point I have mostly been selfish and kept my knowledge to myself, but all that is going to change. 

I have discovered a new economic indicator which is largely ignored by experts. I can tell where the economy is headed by how many free magazines I happen to score at the gym. The formula is complicated and you probably won't understand but here it is anyways: (If your brain starts to hurt don't say I didn't warn you)

Scenario 1: Good Economy

Many magazines scored for free by me =

Not afraid to spend a few bucks on US Weekly =
(and while you're at it throw in a Star & Enquire, so each celebrity scandal can be properly fact checked!)

Lets go to the rodeo people cause the markets are Bullish! (Woohoo! Confetti! Celebration!)



Scenario 2: Bad Economy

Few magazines =
Causing me to have to go to the internets for my celebrity gossip, which may cause me to develop carpal tunnel and die a lonely horrible death. (if this doesn't make sense please see the above warning)

No matter how badly I want to know about what is going on with Brad and Angelina or who wore it best, I am not gonna buy my People mag when I am spending every blessed cent on rent or groceries =

Start investing your money at the bank of "under the mattress" cause
The market is Bear-(ful?)

P.S. I know about the bear and bull thing because I have played many games of Pit.

Believe it or not I don't even have a degree in economics!
Also, this knowledge will probably change your life. You can thank me later or now by naming your first born child after me - (if they are already born and you worry that said child has become attached to their current name please rest assured that babies and children barely notice this and will be more happier and successful in the long term)

Life Lessons

I have decided that I should have insomnia more often because then I could catch up on all the important things that might otherwise be neglected such as: painting my nails a garish shade of pink or watching 10 episodes of the bachelorette in succession (which is - I'm not making this up - even more thrilling at 3am)

How To Propery & Accurately Judge A Person Based on Their Appearance

Judging a person based upon their appearance is not okay. There may be some exceptions to this rule though and one of those is when a person is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt and/or accessory of any kind. I make a point to stay far away from Ed Hardy enthusiasts and recommend that you do the same.
I realize that for writing this I am probably going to fall madly in love with some guy who refuses to wear anything but Ed Hardy apparel. If he looks like this guy though, maybe I would feel differently.... Hard to say.

I am wearing these glasses because otherwise my eyes would render you helpless with their steely gaze