Wondering

Can you be a hypochondriac about being a hypochondriac?

Things I Know

Eating too much shredded wheat CAN make you sick.

Things I Know

The Circus really is geared towards a younger audience, just in case you were wondering.

Things I Know

Post-it notes are a good invention. They make my neurotic list writing so much more convenient!

Thinking

Vin Diesel is not cute. Neither is Nicholas Cage. Some people say they are and I am just setting the record straight. Matt Damon & Christian Bale however, VERY good-looking.

How to Annoy Me

When you take me on a date to a Turkish restaurant, spend a good portion of the night chatting up the waitress AND the belly dancer girl. Seriously?

How to Annoy Me

It wouldn't take much today.

How to Annoy Me

Get all defensive and claim that wrestling is hands-down the most physically demanding sport ever played by man, when I mention that the uniforms are gross and should be outlawed.

Thinking

If the price of organic, sprouted whole grain products keep going up, there's bound to be an uprising.

Thinking

I wish we still had milkmen - heaven knows we could use them. I mean - should I be expected to go to the store and pick up my own milk!?!?
I also wish my milkman would bring other things like my complete grocery list and shampoo when I ran out, not to mention light bulbs, batteries and the occasional Domino's pizza.
Show me this milkman and I will show you my new best friend.

How to Annoy Me

Make it impossible for me to open up my gum with all your darn plastic wrapping! This is Ice Breakers peppermint cubes people, not hard drugs!

Hello crazy!

This whole day (not to mention yesterday and the day before) I have felt like a person who has been awaken from deep REM sleep by a big banging noise and then asked to name off the periodical table of the elements verbatim, in the middle of the night with a flashlight glaring in their eyes. In short - I feel all out of sorts and discombobulated - like I am not quite awake on some level (or three). The problem is I still have to do stuff.......like drive my car and work and interact with people without sounding like I ate lots of paint chips as a child. When someone asks me a question I find myself wanting to just stare at them wide-eyed like they are speaking some sort of ancient dialect, and then yawn and start twirling myself really fast in my swivel chair. I haven't been getting much sleep lately and I am not "at my best" under sleep deprived conditions. I am definitely not cut out to be an astronaut (or early morning baker person). I wonder how many days of sleep deprivation it would take for me to become certifiably insane? I'm guessing 6........

Thinking

Indeed is a great word. I think it is definitely underused. Indeed it is.

Wondering

Where in the world IS Carmen SanDiego?

Thinking

Sometimes I look back at times where I was felt convinced I was fully awake and realized that I was NOT in fact completely so. Most of the time that is okay, except for the times when I happened to be driving........

Thinking

What I need is a good pair of wrap-around shades. Not only will they protect the delicate eye organs, but they will also give me a unique style that hasn't been seen since the early 90's.

Feeling Guilty

About lying to my dentist that I always floss daily.

Things That Scare Me

Cats
Clowns
Black Widows
Cockroaches
Canned fruit cocktail

Thinking

I shudder to think of what would happen to me if I had to live without chapstick for any extended period of time.

Thinking

If I had an eye patch you better believe it would be large and colorfully embroidered.

Thinking

I always suspected that I wasn't interested in watching golf, but now I know for sure.

Thinking

I don't really think they can go much further with razor technology.

How to Annoy Me

Make me wait until Tuesday for a haircut. These split ends aren't getting any un-splittier!

Things I Know

You can waste a lot of time on Facebook.

Wondering

Swimsuit shopping or Chinese water torture? Hmmmm - I may have to sleep on this one.

How to Annoy Me

Make fun of me for getting injured playing Ultimate Frisbee. The pain is real people!

Hoping

That when I get old that I won't suddenly decided that yes, it IS cool to dye my hair in varying shades of pastel. I am fairly confident that hair was not meant to look like your common carnival-grade cotton candy. I don't judge - but if I do start to go down this road, I hope someone shaves my head because, really?? I have lost my privileges.

How to Annoy Me

Decide that instead of the black & white, three-quarter page ad you had initially chosen, you would like a full page, color ad instead, ON THE DEADLINE DAY!!!! And then get mad that I couldn't read your mind and THEN don't even say thank you when I put it together for you and make your dang deadline!!!!!!!

Wondering

Did I really need to watch reruns of The Bachelor until 3am? I think we can all agree that I did.

How to Annoy Me

Bring your golf clubs to work and practice your swing for like ten straight hours right behind my head. Not cool dude. Not cool.

Thinking

Traffic lights are really cramping my style.

Thinking

People should just relax and be happy. But if you tell me this when I am in a real bad mood, so help me I'll punch you in the face.