I came across someone in our database today named Cinnamon, and it made me wonder well, lots of things.....
Did her parents just really like spices? Does she have siblings named Nutmeg and Majoram? Does she herself enjoy the taste of cinnamon? How do you shorten Cinnamon? Do people call her 'Cinny' cause that just sounds lame and sort of like you are trying to say Cindy but you have a speech impediment? Is she taunted with cruel nicknames like 'Cinnabuns'? Can I be her friend??
I need answers!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Worky Work Work
Just a little background (while trying not give too much detail). I work with trusts. Native American minor trusts to be specific. We get quite a bit of correspondence from clients, usually applying to withdraw funds from their trusts. Sometimes we get really random letters like one from today:
To Whom It May Concern:
My service address is different
from my mailing address. All
of my important mail goes to a
PO Box. Thought I needed to
explain. A PO Box is for life.
Hahaha! Always remember kids, A PO BOX IS FOR LIFE. Now excuse me while I make a t-shirt with this on it.
To Whom It May Concern:
My service address is different
from my mailing address. All
of my important mail goes to a
PO Box. Thought I needed to
explain. A PO Box is for life.
Hahaha! Always remember kids, A PO BOX IS FOR LIFE. Now excuse me while I make a t-shirt with this on it.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Car Keyz
My favorite thing to believe in is the possibility of finding a cheaper replacement car key than the $280 key that the dealership would have me believe is the only option. You gotta have faith people - FAITH!
Friday, January 8, 2010
A trip inside my brain
The shampoo I have been using lately is nasty crap and makes my hair look like and old sea hag. So, today after work I decided to go to Ulta and just browse the shampoo to see if anything catches my fancy (and to see if that thing which caught my fancy was on sale, being the cheapskate/poor person that I am).
The second I walked in the door a shampoo which always works really good for my hair was sitting there on this well lighted and prominent sale pedestal as if to say (in a sultry welcoming voice) "I've been waiting for you" so I go over and proceed to take off the cap and smell it, cause that's what I do, I smell things. Anyways it is at this point that I realize that the smell of this shampoo/conditioner duo makes me want to vomit, which is why I stopped using it.
Thankfully all the other varieties of this shampoo were ALSO on sale so I go about smelling all of them and reading each one's proclaimed benefits (makes hair feel soft and smooth....like butter! for instance). And here is where it started getting complicated. It seemed like if the smell was pleasing, it was definitely not made for a hair type such as mine (Smell: Cherry Almond, good. 'Specially formulated for African fro-hair' - not me). If it was the right type for my hair it smelled like sweaty boy armpits.
From here I decided to look at other brands, which is when I cracked and started going a little nutters (you know, crazy) wandering around the store excessively smelling rows and rows of shampoo bottles. The girl that worked there kept asking if she could help me find anything and would shoot me looks of concern every so often. I on the other hand could barely stop in my quest for shampoo/conditioner nirvana, to reply that I was doing great, and didn't need help finding anything at all.
On my third or fourth circuit of the store I started thinking that really I didn't need shampoo/conditioner, so my hair felt like a raffia-steel wool combination and I didn't go out in public anymore because it looked nasty. So what! I come from sturdy pioneer stock, I would find a way to carry on! Then I started thinking that the cost of shampoo is ridiculous these days and who even invented shampoo anyways and why should I be pay $14 when I could get a bottle of Suave for $2.75!? It just seemed wrong. THEN, I started thinking that I could buy some shampoo but, what if it was crappy like the stuff I already had at home!? Buying it would be a gamble, and I decided long ago that gambling is not for me! Then, then.......
I reached back and brushed a lock of hair over my shoulder and it felt just awful and I realized that I needed new shampoo and I needed it tonight! I trudged back up to the front of the store and grabbed one of the smell good bottles.
SO, if you see me sporting some African fro hair, you will know why.......
The second I walked in the door a shampoo which always works really good for my hair was sitting there on this well lighted and prominent sale pedestal as if to say (in a sultry welcoming voice) "I've been waiting for you" so I go over and proceed to take off the cap and smell it, cause that's what I do, I smell things. Anyways it is at this point that I realize that the smell of this shampoo/conditioner duo makes me want to vomit, which is why I stopped using it.
Thankfully all the other varieties of this shampoo were ALSO on sale so I go about smelling all of them and reading each one's proclaimed benefits (makes hair feel soft and smooth....like butter! for instance). And here is where it started getting complicated. It seemed like if the smell was pleasing, it was definitely not made for a hair type such as mine (Smell: Cherry Almond, good. 'Specially formulated for African fro-hair' - not me). If it was the right type for my hair it smelled like sweaty boy armpits.
From here I decided to look at other brands, which is when I cracked and started going a little nutters (you know, crazy) wandering around the store excessively smelling rows and rows of shampoo bottles. The girl that worked there kept asking if she could help me find anything and would shoot me looks of concern every so often. I on the other hand could barely stop in my quest for shampoo/conditioner nirvana, to reply that I was doing great, and didn't need help finding anything at all.
On my third or fourth circuit of the store I started thinking that really I didn't need shampoo/conditioner, so my hair felt like a raffia-steel wool combination and I didn't go out in public anymore because it looked nasty. So what! I come from sturdy pioneer stock, I would find a way to carry on! Then I started thinking that the cost of shampoo is ridiculous these days and who even invented shampoo anyways and why should I be pay $14 when I could get a bottle of Suave for $2.75!? It just seemed wrong. THEN, I started thinking that I could buy some shampoo but, what if it was crappy like the stuff I already had at home!? Buying it would be a gamble, and I decided long ago that gambling is not for me! Then, then.......
I reached back and brushed a lock of hair over my shoulder and it felt just awful and I realized that I needed new shampoo and I needed it tonight! I trudged back up to the front of the store and grabbed one of the smell good bottles.
SO, if you see me sporting some African fro hair, you will know why.......
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Texting
Sometimes me and my brother will text each other about whatever. It usually gets ridiculous. Here is a little sampling.....
D: Hey! When do I get my free haircut this month? (I sometimes cut my brothers hair. Which is a win-win for both of us since he gets a free haircut and I get to use scissors! On someone's hair!Weeeeee!)
Me: Whenever you come and bring me presents :) (obviously I would do it for free, I might even pay HIM to let me cut it, but I thought hey it never hurts to ask for presents, something I learned from Santa Clause & Christmas)
D: I dont like that idea.... I like when my hairdresser comes to me!
Me: Well I guess we dont always get what we want.... I do but I've heard dome people dont haha!
D: Lol ur so funny! Maybe after I come get my hair cut I can play poker with you (He is NOT talking about real poker with cards, which I would not be opposed to. But means this horrible game of Poke Her (meaning me) until I scream. Both of my brothers do this to me and its not fun but they think its hilarious)
Me: I'm really more into go fish or monopoly, connect 4, that sort of thing.
D: Well TOO FLIPPIN BAD! WE WILL BE PLAYING POKER
Me: Whatever - poker is "fine" I just thought it would be nice to try a different game is all. Are you really gonna come over? Are your bringing presents?? Are you Santa!?
I didnt get a text back after this so I sent him another...
Me: Dang my text was fun-E & you didnt even write back.....obviously you have no soul.
D: Sorry it was a little uneventful... Lol I have presents if you come to me but there are just too many to bring to you
Me: Now I shall not respond to you! Muahahahaha evil laugh! Wait....
D: Haha but I think u forgot one tiny little detail in ur evil plan to not text me back... U must respond if you want me to tell you....
Me: Oh please Mr "knower of things that may in fact be lame" tell me this detail that promises to be most wonderful and glorious!
D: Haha its the fact that you wont stop! Hahaha my eviler plan to get you to keep texting me has worked and yours has failed!! Muuahahahhhaaaahahhaahhhaa!
Me: Oh puh-lease! This isnt even me texting back, its another person that is not me so.....yah!
D: Really? Well then who is it since its not you texting me!
Me: Sylvia
D: Oh really!? But I thought you had a hot date tonight!
Me: That is true......
D: Aha! I knew it wasn't you Sylvia! Now who is it! I demand to know!
Me: It is me, Bernice
D: Bernice? Whatup B-dawg! Hey... wait! I thought you were in China fighting the deadly disease
Me: I'm on lunch break and uh I bit myself shaving so....just getting that taken care of .....on my lunch break
D: I think that ur lying!
Me: No I can prove it! Who else would know about the unicorn shaped birth mark on the middle of your face!
The End
D: Hey! When do I get my free haircut this month? (I sometimes cut my brothers hair. Which is a win-win for both of us since he gets a free haircut and I get to use scissors! On someone's hair!Weeeeee!)
Me: Whenever you come and bring me presents :) (obviously I would do it for free, I might even pay HIM to let me cut it, but I thought hey it never hurts to ask for presents, something I learned from Santa Clause & Christmas)
D: I dont like that idea.... I like when my hairdresser comes to me!
Me: Well I guess we dont always get what we want.... I do but I've heard dome people dont haha!
D: Lol ur so funny! Maybe after I come get my hair cut I can play poker with you (He is NOT talking about real poker with cards, which I would not be opposed to. But means this horrible game of Poke Her (meaning me) until I scream. Both of my brothers do this to me and its not fun but they think its hilarious)
Me: I'm really more into go fish or monopoly, connect 4, that sort of thing.
D: Well TOO FLIPPIN BAD! WE WILL BE PLAYING POKER
Me: Whatever - poker is "fine" I just thought it would be nice to try a different game is all. Are you really gonna come over? Are your bringing presents?? Are you Santa!?
I didnt get a text back after this so I sent him another...
Me: Dang my text was fun-E & you didnt even write back.....obviously you have no soul.
D: Sorry it was a little uneventful... Lol I have presents if you come to me but there are just too many to bring to you
Me: Now I shall not respond to you! Muahahahaha evil laugh! Wait....
D: Haha but I think u forgot one tiny little detail in ur evil plan to not text me back... U must respond if you want me to tell you....
Me: Oh please Mr "knower of things that may in fact be lame" tell me this detail that promises to be most wonderful and glorious!
D: Haha its the fact that you wont stop! Hahaha my eviler plan to get you to keep texting me has worked and yours has failed!! Muuahahahhhaaaahahhaahhhaa!
Me: Oh puh-lease! This isnt even me texting back, its another person that is not me so.....yah!
D: Really? Well then who is it since its not you texting me!
Me: Sylvia
D: Oh really!? But I thought you had a hot date tonight!
Me: That is true......
D: Aha! I knew it wasn't you Sylvia! Now who is it! I demand to know!
Me: It is me, Bernice
D: Bernice? Whatup B-dawg! Hey... wait! I thought you were in China fighting the deadly disease
Me: I'm on lunch break and uh I bit myself shaving so....just getting that taken care of .....on my lunch break
D: I think that ur lying!
Me: No I can prove it! Who else would know about the unicorn shaped birth mark on the middle of your face!
The End
The Post Office
Today I went to the post office during my lunch break, a place I do not go often. The reason for my trip today to this mystical place, was to pick up my mail since it had been accumulating for uhm....months? I am too cool for school and also checking my mail (a.k.a lazy... AND nothing good ever seems to come in the mail). As I waited I came to the conclusion that I hate going to the post office but secretly I kind of like it. The reason for this is because the people there are a little bit off and it's fun for me to observe them. I feel like they are teetering on the verge of crazy, and I am hoping a little bit to see them snap (not in a gunning people down sort of way though - dangerous!).
One man in particular is my favorite. If I were in charge of naming him, he would be called Bernard, he could very well be on a bowling league. He is older, balding, heavyset and probably gets no respect. But at the post office he is king. He knows all there is to know about everything mail related and is not afraid to tell you a thing or two if you have your facts wrong. He seems to laugh inwardly at the ignorance of the masses regarding mail. A younger guy also works there who seems to be completely lacking any personality whatsoever, almost like a robot. He is my least favorite but also seems very knowledgeable about the old USPS. Last but not least is a brash sort of Chicago accented lady, who quite frankly scares me a little bit. She is like a scolding mother and I was hoping I would not be her next victim since I saw her berate the girl in front of me for not getting her mail in a timely fashion. If she had any idea how long I had waited to get my mail I feared she would make a public example of me and have me sent through the mail workers gauntlet or something.
As luck would have it I heard her call out 'Next!' when it was my turn. She ended up giving me a good stern lecture on the virtues of checking my mail frequently. But it wasn't really that bad. It was very motherly, like she just wanted what was best for me. I took it all in stride and promised to do better. I think she felt satisfied and I felt satisfied because it made me feel good to experience a little crazy in my day.
One man in particular is my favorite. If I were in charge of naming him, he would be called Bernard, he could very well be on a bowling league. He is older, balding, heavyset and probably gets no respect. But at the post office he is king. He knows all there is to know about everything mail related and is not afraid to tell you a thing or two if you have your facts wrong. He seems to laugh inwardly at the ignorance of the masses regarding mail. A younger guy also works there who seems to be completely lacking any personality whatsoever, almost like a robot. He is my least favorite but also seems very knowledgeable about the old USPS. Last but not least is a brash sort of Chicago accented lady, who quite frankly scares me a little bit. She is like a scolding mother and I was hoping I would not be her next victim since I saw her berate the girl in front of me for not getting her mail in a timely fashion. If she had any idea how long I had waited to get my mail I feared she would make a public example of me and have me sent through the mail workers gauntlet or something.
As luck would have it I heard her call out 'Next!' when it was my turn. She ended up giving me a good stern lecture on the virtues of checking my mail frequently. But it wasn't really that bad. It was very motherly, like she just wanted what was best for me. I took it all in stride and promised to do better. I think she felt satisfied and I felt satisfied because it made me feel good to experience a little crazy in my day.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Thinking
I want nothing more than to make a documentary and learn what heck I should do with the acorn squash I purchased yesterday. These things are completely unrelated, I do not for instance want to make a documentary on what I should do with my acorn squash.
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