Musings

I like it best when batteries are included.

Tears Happen

I can only think of a few things off the top of my head that make me get teary-eyed/emotional - Charles Dickens books or Les Miserables, the movie Seabiscuit (which is why I will never watch it again), and traffic tickets (and these are tears of anger). Overall I am more like a ninja, and we all know that ninjas never cry. Sometimes though something will hit me hard and out of the blue I will become sentimental. This happened twice today
Here and here. (For the record though, only one made my 'eyes water')

Just to even things out this is something that made me laugh.

Things I Like

Here are some things I like. If you don't that's OK, it just means you are a bad person.

1. Dr Bronner's Pure Castille Soap

This stuff is great. Its foamy and pure (according to the label, which means it is true) doesn't take much to leave you all squeaky clean and it makes my skin nice, I even feel good about using it on my face.
I have the lavender and a little peppermint one for my gym bag. I like both (maybe the peppermint slightly better cause it makes your skin feel tingly).

2. This sweater from Old Navy
Good for Az since it is pretty lightweight. Mostly though I love the cut and color.

3. Tuex Deux
It lets you make a to do list for every day and the things that you dont cross off on one day automatically get carried over to the next. Its really simple to use and I like the layout. If you are a to do list type of person this is awesome.

4. Kindle 3
I have wanted a kindle for ages. Finally though I realized that it was actually a good investment! (I'm super adept at rationalizing 'wants' into' needs' - its a gift really). Firstly, I read a lot and consequently buy lots of books, whereas many Kindle books are free and, if not, almost always cheaper than you would buy in the store.The minimalism of it also really appealed to me since now all my books will be on my kindle taking up no space! Also, the battery last forever. You can make the Kindle read to you (dance monkey dance!). Its really light, and it looks like you are actually reading print so no eye strain. And it has a built in dictionary to look up any words that you don't know (thereby making me smarter!) It will also make you a well balanced breakfast each morning.

5. This music:
The Morning Benders
'Promises' is a good 'un. I like everything on their new album (the previous one is also good just not as good)



Meaghan Smith
'A Little Sleep'
This is the song that hooked me, but her whole album The Crickets Orchestra is super! I like literally every single song. It has a very whimsicle 1930's vibe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJX6Cp4t6-A&feature=related


Fun.
I listen to this album to the point where it would be worn out if that were possible
'Light a Roman Candle' is my fave. I put it on and it makes crappy days seem not crappy!



Arcade Fire
'The Suburbs'
Love it! I feel that you will too.



Dashboard Confessional
"Belle of the Boulevard"
I have always liked DC but this is a newer song of theirs. It be a good one y'all!



6. Mangosteen fruit.
These are yum! I find them at the Asian grocery store sometimes and they are delicious! Like the fruit you would find in a magical land of unicorns.

7. This blog.
I have to avoid reading this at work or one of two scenarios happen. I either:
A. Erupt into embarrassing laughter (which may or may not involve snorting)
B. Have to hold my breath to avoid laughter (see above) until I am on the verge of passing out. 


8. This video. Holy crap this awesome! (or disturbing depending on how you look at it).



9. Waking up early (this was a test, I do NOT love waking up early. If you believed me. FAIL!)

10. The Hunger Games series.

Sure these books sound lame when you read the synopsis, and yes people may think you are retarded if you try to describe the plot, and true - it is young adult fiction which is kind of embarrassing. Bottom line:  I devoured these books like a fat kid devours candy bars.

11.  Comfy Shoes, specifically:

Feiyue brand Washu sneakers
Do I know how to pronounce this? Absolutely not. Do I not even care, because these shoes are the best? A thousand times yes! They are comfy and I like how they look - in the picture they look sort of questionable but are much cooler in person. Although, if they looked gross I would probably still wear them because of the comfortable-ness.

AND

Vibram Five Fingers
Yah buddy - they look super weird but you can't beat a shoe that lets you essentially walk around barefoot while still being hygienic.


12. El Gallo Blanco 
This is a restaurant attached to the Clarendon hotel in Phoenix. They have flamenco dancing every Wednesday night. The food is good and not super pricey. The chips and guacamole were especially good. When I was there the lead singer from the gypsy kings was there playing for the flamenco dancers.

13. Sharpie Pens

The perfect pen. They don't bleed, don't rub off like gel pens. I cant have too many of these.

An Apple A Day

Sometimes I don't take the stickers off of apples before I eat them. This is pure laziness on my part, I just think its a pain and I don't like to.

There are the little devils right there

I tell myself that I will take it off later and take a bite from the apple closest to the sticker and eat in the opposite direction, in order to avoid taking it off as long as possible.
Here is my point though: Sometimes I forget to take off the sticker.
(Meaning: I eat the sticker.)
Eating stickers can't be healthy. I don't see them popping up on any food pyramids, I wonder if I should I be concerned....

A Fummy Bideo

There is probably nothing more fantastic than getting some cavities filled in the morning before work and then feeling like a goober the next couple of hours while the Novocain wears off. Seriously awesome. In honor of that I have decided to post this.

What Not To Do

I found this. A list of the 100 worst songs ever. Did I decide to ignore the warning bells going on in my brain saying "Danger! Danger!" and listen to most of these gems? Yes, yes I did. Am I more susceptible than most to songs getting wedged in my brain space, between the nooks and crannies? Yes I am. Could doing something like this be the catalyst to a downward spiral into insanity? Quite possibly. Do I secretly like some of the songs on this list? ..................... Yes (don't judge!)

Things I know

Every time I wear pointy toed shoes, it hits me: My feet are not pointy like the toes of these shoes!

Verrrrrrrrry Interesting

I don't have any student loans and after reading this I am all the more grateful.

Thinking

What amount of innocent puppies did I kill in a previous life to deserve an earache of this magnitude?
Also, isn't it against the laws of nature to get an earache past the age of 10??
Also, between death and earaches, I think earaches are probably more painful.

If You Want Some Awesome in Your Life (and a killer jingle!!)

Please watch this. Just. Please.

How To Cause Me Sadness

Nothing hurts my tender heart more than when someone doesn't get it when I am being funny or telling a joke. Like the other day when some friends and I were deciding where to go to dinner. Someone mentioned a restaurant and another person asked how far away it was. He said 10 minutes by car. I then asked how long it would take by unicycle - feeling that it was unfair to exclude all other types of transportation. After what I thought was a hilarious joke there was lots of confusion and what can only be described as mass hysteria. No one understood and they wanted clarification and that is when I died a little bit inside.

Better Than One of Those Prizes In The Cracker Jack Box Before They Got Lame, Probably Sometime Around 1947

I read this article and realized that I also know about the economy. Up to this point I have mostly been selfish and kept my knowledge to myself, but all that is going to change. 

I have discovered a new economic indicator which is largely ignored by experts. I can tell where the economy is headed by how many free magazines I happen to score at the gym. The formula is complicated and you probably won't understand but here it is anyways: (If your brain starts to hurt don't say I didn't warn you)

Scenario 1: Good Economy

Many magazines scored for free by me =

Not afraid to spend a few bucks on US Weekly =
(and while you're at it throw in a Star & Enquire, so each celebrity scandal can be properly fact checked!)

Lets go to the rodeo people cause the markets are Bullish! (Woohoo! Confetti! Celebration!)



Scenario 2: Bad Economy

Few magazines =
Causing me to have to go to the internets for my celebrity gossip, which may cause me to develop carpal tunnel and die a lonely horrible death. (if this doesn't make sense please see the above warning)

No matter how badly I want to know about what is going on with Brad and Angelina or who wore it best, I am not gonna buy my People mag when I am spending every blessed cent on rent or groceries =

Start investing your money at the bank of "under the mattress" cause
The market is Bear-(ful?)

P.S. I know about the bear and bull thing because I have played many games of Pit.

Believe it or not I don't even have a degree in economics!
Also, this knowledge will probably change your life. You can thank me later or now by naming your first born child after me - (if they are already born and you worry that said child has become attached to their current name please rest assured that babies and children barely notice this and will be more happier and successful in the long term)

Life Lessons

I have decided that I should have insomnia more often because then I could catch up on all the important things that might otherwise be neglected such as: painting my nails a garish shade of pink or watching 10 episodes of the bachelorette in succession (which is - I'm not making this up - even more thrilling at 3am)

How To Propery & Accurately Judge A Person Based on Their Appearance

Judging a person based upon their appearance is not okay. There may be some exceptions to this rule though and one of those is when a person is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt and/or accessory of any kind. I make a point to stay far away from Ed Hardy enthusiasts and recommend that you do the same.
I realize that for writing this I am probably going to fall madly in love with some guy who refuses to wear anything but Ed Hardy apparel. If he looks like this guy though, maybe I would feel differently.... Hard to say.

I am wearing these glasses because otherwise my eyes would render you helpless with their steely gaze

Thinking

I got a wicked bad paper cut today. It hurt with such intensity that the pain drove me to cry out "Oh buddy!" which is what I say when I am in pain apparently. It made me realize that I am very lucky that I don't have a job repossessing cars or cage fighting cause I don't think I would get much respect from my peers.

Things I like

The tracks made on carpet by vacuum machines. When I didn't own a vacuum for longer than I feel good about telling people, I would sometimes try to make my carpet look cleaner by dragging my foot across the floor. Let me just tell you it was not the same. I must have the authentic thing by gosh - what can I say I am just classy like that.

Monday, Monday

I hate getting back from vacations to the lake because I find I am completely unprepared to return to a life in which hanging out all day in my swimsuit, having impromptu dance parties whenever I feel they are needed, and eating otter pops for every meal is looked upon as unconventional. Life is officially not fair.

What? Moi?

People tell me a lot that I am like a ray of sunshine. If I had a hundred bucks (dollars not male dear) for every time I heard this I would be $0 richer, because they don't actually tell me this. No one has ever told me this. Ever. I am pretty sure people think it a lot though, but you know how people are - they can so shy! It's so nice of them to think it though.

Ways In Which I am Going Green

It is all the rage to 'Go Green' these days, people want to do their part to save the environment and I am no different. I have made a list of the ways in which I will be going green.

Way #1
Using tree bark in place of toilet paper, post-it notes, paper towels, feminine hygeine products and plastic cutlery

Way #2
Only washing clothes when they are really dirty. If I haven't been mud wrestling or hanging out in a sweat lodge for extended periods, I will just re-wear!

Way #3
I will be making my own gasoline using discarded aluminum cans and used twisty ties. Science has not proven this can be done yet, but I am confident that with the proper go-getter attitude this is possible!

Way #4
I will harness the energy of Justin Beiber's popularity among the pre-teen set to power my electronics

Way #5
I will install a fire pit in my living room for cooking and lighting purposes (and to add to the overall aesthetic)

Way #6
To shrink my carbon footprint, I will do the equivalent of the ancient Chinese tradition of foot binding to, said carbon footprint, by not showing. Although this may hinder my relationships, with - friends, family, cashiers at grocery stores, etc. I am all about taking one for the team!

Who cares. No big deal. I want moooooore

I can sing all the words to any Little Mermaid song like a champ! Impressed? Don't be. Those lyrics are taking precious brain space that could be used for ..... Sports trivia! How many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop! Movie quotes! The history of ketchup! You know, important stuff.

If you don't have it you're never gonna get it.....Oh YES you will!

Sometimes I need something awesome to get me through the day. This is it.

Important information that you must read for everything else to make sense

My older sister, who is older than me in years but not traffic tickets, is totally awesome. Hereafter she shall be referred to as her Highness (notice the capitalization) Istymay the brave and kind and good-looking.

When I Am Fascist Dictator

When I am fascist dictator first order of business: Get rid of all the speed bumps & get myself some sort of device, wherein traffic lights are always green for me! Muahahahahah!(Or drive an ambulance)
Second order of business: Create propaganda against shoe & pants wearing (shorts and flip flops are OK) to be distributed to the masses
Third Order of Business: Make my subjects build me a ginormous pyramid structure (with high speed internet access) to keep me well situated in the afterlife
Fourth Order of Business: I haven't really gotten this far......

My Most Bravest Moment

I hate snakes. All good people do. Once I had a dream where I was being eaten by a giant snake. They were playing the movie Anaconda and I happened to see a few commercials, shortly thereafter I woke up sweaty and maybe crying, to find my blanket twisted up and wrapped around me in a snake-like fashion. It was awful, maybe as awful as the time I dreamed my bunk bed was a prison and almost jumped over the railing in my sleep.

Lets just say that if snakes were people they would be Marilyn Manson or possibly the kid snatching candy man from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Bang (who still frightens me to this day).

Anyways, my brother "Ussellray" has snakes. As pets!! He names them, is not afraid to touch them and feeds them rodents (which sometimes he buys frozen and keeps in the freezer with people food, which is wrong)!! It was not a happy day when one of his snake pets, out of sheer evilness, got out of its cage and terrorized us over the next couple weeks. No one could catch it, and after awhile everyone sort of forgot about it, thinking it was probably long gone into the wilderness by then. I secretly hoped it was dead of starvation from no frozen mice at regular intervals (FYI - snakes are like cockroaches and don't die of natural causes like starvation or dehydration, like normal living things).

Around this time, I woke up in the middle of the night and stumbled to the bathroom. I opened the door, turned on the light and there looking at me, like it had been caught, was the snake. We sat there looking at each other for awhile. I didn't move. It didn't move. I was too fresh from sleep to do anything like run or scream (let's just say I have might be compared to a sloth when I have just woken up). Secretly, I was hoping it would slither away so I could forget I had seen it - then I would just make a point to wear snake repellent or not visit my parents house for a year or so. Suddenly though something weird came over me. I don't know what the motivation was - the triumph of courage over fear? Stupidity? A sudden realization the snake was relatively small and un-poisonous? The desire to be the hero and bring peace of mind and liberation to all the women in the house?? Whatever the case I suddenly snapped to alertness and decided I would catch the (*swearword*) snake. Miraculously, I did catch it. I don't remember the details, but afterward, shaking like a leaf, I woke my brother up and handed him his stupid snake. It was epic. My personal Rocky-esque moment of triumph. I think I could even hear a faint strain of 'The Eye of The Tiger' playing in the background.

What I Want For My Birthday

To build a forts all day, have a picnic and not have to wear shoes or socks even once.

What Makes Me Awesome

....Is that I do not have sleep apnea! I would be less awesome as a person with sleep apnea. Firstly because it causes you to sometimes stop breathing as you sleep and I find I am better breathing than not. Secondly, sleep apnea would make me afraid to sleep and I am way better with sleep than without (and break fewer traffic laws). Thirdly, I just SAY so and don't question my authority!

Nuthin'

I have never been impressed by race car drivers (except maybe the time when I was learning how to drive a stick shift and I stalled my car every 4 minutes). I just think it's not very impressive to drive a car fast, I mean I do that every day (unless a police officer is reading this and then I never drive fast ever, ever).
What I do think would be impressive is:
A. A monkey driving a race car
or
B. Driving a race car using only your knees and texting on your cell phone at the same time.

Musings

I just saw a banner ad that asked me if I ever dream of having my own pool. Nope, never dreamed of that. Unleeeeess it was one of those dreams that I can't remember. So the answer is maybe, maybe I have but probably not. But tonight could be the night!

What I Read

Flowers for Algernon - About a mentally handicapped man who becomes brilliant after an experimental operation. I liked the premise of the story and don't get me wrong it was good, but not amazing. It made you think and gave helped you see things from a different viewpoint but something was missing. I didn't like the end or what the main character gleaned from his experience. It wasn't the uplifting book I feel like it should have been.

Who I Am

The gum chewing equivalent of a chain smoker

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

My idea of fun would be to pit disney characters against each other in boxing matches. I believe princess Jasmine has what it takes to win in the lightweight category. I want to believe that Dumbo would be the heavyweight champ, I mean he is an elephant, but does he have the heart of a fighter? It's hard to say.....

My Better Half

I have always thought it is weird when people think they wave a better side. In fact, during my short stint as a photographer, it annoyed me to no end when people were all picky about the side that got photographed. Just today though I realized that I am always turning my head to the right when I look in the mirror. Cause, well, I guess I like my left side better.
(Please don't be offended right side, I like you too. After all I would be a freak show without you!)

Thinking

After watching Paper Heart, I want for Michael Cera and I to be friends. At the very least I want to be friends with Michael Cera's personality twin.....or maybe they could clone him or something cause he is famous and probably has no friend vacancies. Where would one go to find this sort of person I wonder?

True Story

I am often struck with the urge to do a hand stand. And I want to so bad it is hard for me to restrain myself when I am in public places where hand stands are not appropriate. That's not weird right?

I Want One

http://www.waterbobble.com/#/Bobble-Water-FrontPage

What I Read

I read alot and thought it would be good to start tracking what I have read, cause I forget.

The Life of Pi - This book has been popular for so long but I just barely read it. I would hear how good it was from other people and plan on reading it but then I would read the description on the back of the book and it just didn't interest me. Finally though I decided to just go for it. Aaaaaaaaand, I really liked it! It was hard to put down and I will probably read it again at some point.

Suite Francoise - Also good, I mostly liked it. The setting is France during WWII and it is stories of several different people so it jumps around alot, which always kind of annoys me (just when you get interested in a particular character it changes to a different one). Also, the writer actually died in Auschwitz (the story behind the story is just as harrowing) so it was never completed. The writers notes are included at the end of the book so you know what she was planning for the story, which made me feel better otherwise it definitely leaves you hanging. Anyways, sad but very well written, if you like that sort of thing.

Just Thinking

It's probably a good thing I don't have any kids because that means I can't name some poor soul 'Buster' or 'Princess Peach'. In my defense though these names really roll off the tongue in a pleasing manner.

P.S. On a different note - Where on earth did the word tongue come from?? Whats that ue doing there at the end! (It just struck me as I was writing tongue up there)

In A Perfect World

You would get to throw a pie in someone's face if they made you mad. I think this would lead to world peace. I think it should be incorporated into our foreign diplomatic policies. Before you know it the Israelis and Palestinians would just laugh off the whole hating each others guts thing they have going on. Pie in the face is the universal language that transcends all cultural differences.

How To Amuse Me

This commercial makes me laugh without fail. I know for sure because last night I was running on the treadmill at the gym when it came on and I laughed out loud (causing me to feel somewhat embarrassed) . Its the lion that gets me every time.

Oh The Humanity!

I just read The Life of Pi. It was great! I would recommend it to anyone but would also like to warn you that doing so may result in a dream where you come home to find your brother mauled by your pet tiger that you forgot to tell him about (What was Russ doing at my house anyways I don't even know! Any how did he know the garage code??) Also, some random monkey has been eaten by the tiger. It was gross.

I felt guilty all morning for not telling Russ about the tiger. I texted him that I was sorry and he was understandably still pretty upset. Also, he said it was his monkey that was eaten by my tiger :( Maybe I will build him a cake or something.....

I Heart Text Messaging

I think this explains perfectly why I don't love/like talking on the phone. In any way. Ever.

Something I Know

In times of great need, you can use paperclips in place of bobby pins. You're welcome.

Happenings

I have decided that funny is the new handsome.

What I mean by this is that I think I prefer funny guys over handsome. Of course I am right but I also have the means to prove it. Please see exhibit A.

The more I watch, the more I am in love.


P.S. Why is it that only at the moments when your car is its most dirty and gross smelling do people either: A.) request rides or B.) borrow said car??

Right now my car is not... How you say?.....Tidy. Not at all. There is a trash bag in the front passenger area that is bursting at the seams. On top, barely hanging on, are banana and grapefruit peelings (thats right I said grapefruit peelings. I eat grapefruits like an orange OK? So sue me.), on the passenger seat are loads of papers that I have been hauling around cause I have some matters that I am "taking care of" and never know when I will "need" them. There are probably tupperware containers and maybe a pair of shoes chillin' with the papers. Also, in the back are a bunch of books I need to take to this bookstore and a plethora of bags, in disarray, to be used for grocery shopping (Translation: It looks like there was a small explosion in my back seat).

Barry rides his bike to work and if he needs a car he will use Landon's. Landon isn't here today. He asked to use my car. Not a problem, but I didn't have time to sneak down and clean it! Holy sad face batman! I told him it was a mess and not to judge me but, I think we can all agree that, judgments sometimes happen even when people have asked us not to judge. Just saying.

Barry did tell me a embarrassing, messy car story of his own, which made me feel, sort of better. Then I remembered how loud my radio is blaring so when he started the car it was probably "a bit of a shock". At least I wasn't listening to anything embarrassing like musical show tune soundtracks (not that I ever, ever would). So, for that I can be grateful. What is sad is that my car was so clean! (*mumble* six weeks ago *mumble*) Why couldn't it have been then!?

I decided that my only consolation would be to google "messy cars".  I have to say this made me feel better.

Spiritual Thought

I like to listen to conference talks while I am doing things that don't require a lot of concentration at work. Its a good reminder of how to live, since I always seem to be forgetting (darn human frailties!). Today I was listening to a talk by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, it was from the April 2005 conference and is called The Virtue of Kindness. I guess I am kind of a sensitive soul so I have always felt very strongly about treating people with kindness, not that I am especially good at it but I do try. I think if people were more kind to each other amazing things would happen. Elder Wirthlin seems like the kindest sort of person imaginable and he is so humble. He talked about people that criticize a lesson or talk or an activity or church event, etc. and how we may believe that this type of practice doesn't cause any harm, but really can and does. This quote stood out to me:

'When you're criticising people in the church, you are weakening the church'

Those are pretty strong words and weakening the church is not something I really want to be guilty of. I have definitely found myself in this mode before and need to remember that this is not helpful or constructive to anyone in any way.

He also encouraged us to ask ourselves:

'How am I doing to help others reach their potential?'

It is truly where our focus should be and I know I am happiest when this is where my thoughts are centered.
I Also like these other quotes I came across on the subject. Henry James said:

'Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind."

In a general conference address Elder Hartman Rector said we must do three things to endure to the end:

1. Continue to repent
2. Continue to forgive others for the rest of our lives
3. We must be nice!
"I do not believe there will be anyone in the Celestial kingdom that is not nice"

Anyways, I just like to write down my spiritual musings because I feel like they will stay with me longer (sort of like taking notes in class), so I will be adding them regularly I think...

Trabajo

I like my job in a big way. When people ask me why I don't explain very well why (verbal communication has always been a bit of a struggle for me), I sort of draw a blank. But here are the reasons I like my job so much:

My sweet office.
If we are going to be specific it is the corner office FYI. I like that it has mustard colored yellow chairs from the 70's. They apologized about the chairs when I started, but I think they are charming, very vintage cool in my opinion. I love that it is super clean and tidy and I have a little tree in the corner. If it were to get a feng shui rating I think it would get an A! I have a really good smelling air freshener, every day when I walk in my office it makes me feel happy. I like the picture of Kimbo Slice on my wonder wall and door. Barry and Landon nicknamed me Kimbo and then Landon printed them for me (in color!) I like the huge desk and second desk also and my mahogany bookcase (thats right, mahogany).

Barry & Landon
They are super fly! They are like two big brothers who are nice and chill. I work/interact with them almost exclusively and when I very first started I was a little concerned because I could tell they were pretty tight and I didn't think they would let me be apart of their boys club. I think that my background in having brothers was a big asset here, because before I knew it I had a nickname, Landon was printing me pictures of Kimbo Slice for my door and Barry was bringing me canned goods (he noticed I didn't partake of any junk food offered so he bought me some canned peaches and sardines in mustard sauce, melted my heart it did). I was hoping when I was looking for a job that I would get to work with men as opposed to women, they are so much easier to work with in my opinion. No drama or backbiting. In fact they both have a sign in their office that designates their office as a 'No Drama' zone. Love it!

Small, Mormon, Family Business
When I interviewed they asked if this would be a problem and I told them emphatically that I preferred this. Big corporate-type atmospheres are not my bag, not a place for my stick it to the man inner hippyness. No thanks. I like that three generations work here. That the oldest is a stake patriarch, my boss leaves early every Friday to work at the temple and if you need an Ensign or want to peruse the church news, look no further than the copy room. Also, I have a lot of respect for my boss and his dad and brother - they are kind and fair and unassuming. My previous boss was also Mormon and was none of these things, I didn't have a great deal of respect for him and it is so much nicer when that is not the case!

Location
Easy to get to and in a good part of town. The building we are in is Beau Ti Ful and we are on a golf course with a lake (aesthetics is obviously something I care about deeply). We also have underground covered parking and are 2 seconds away from a Target (is it weird that I consider that a perk?). Also close to Pei Wei, Sprouts, Guitar Center, Home Depot, my bank and other lovely retail establishments :)

Easygoing
When I forgot to ask for time off, for my brothers wedding (!!!) until the week before. When I did ask it was not a problem at all. No one made me feel like a retarded child.

I know these aren't the typical person's pro list for a job. I am not really one to care about insurance or 401K's or anything which is kind of weird I suppose but there you have it.

Work

Today at work B came up with the idea of having a vocabulary competition. We are each to come up with 10 vocab words and the one who can use them most in conversation over the next week or something wins. My list is ready to go, here it is in all its glory!

Mollify (to soothe)
Accede (to agree)
Irksome (wearisome)
Nominal (trivial)
Agglomerate (to pile/heap together)
Pandemonium (riotous uproar)
Conjecture (to guess)
Albeit (even though)
Peevish (irritable)
Terminus (the final point or goal)

Oh the smartness of the words I shall be speaking!

Fashion Trends

Just thinking about the fact that I hated, HATED skinny jeans when they came back in style and now I live in them and am not shy to defend their awesomeness. Can it be assumed from this that I lack integrity and am flaky?

I also hated bell bottoms when they came back and vowed never to wear them... A couple months later I was wearing the bell bottomiest bell bottoms know to man (I remember taking great pains to procure a white pair with shiny silver buttons running down the length of the bell bottom. No joke!).
Don't even get me started about my love affair with the colored tight trend, and the bright yellow pair I wore to church last week AND my brothers wedding (which caused people's eyes to burn if they looked at them directly).

Yes, I think it can be assumed that I am easily won over by fashion trends. This is why we should all hope the grunge look doesn't resurface anytime soon, cause you KNOW I will jump on that wagon. No showering for a few days? Sign me up! Haha just kidding! (but kind of serious)

Good Morning Sunshine!

It is an ongoing goal of mine to go to the gym before work. This morning I decided to get serious about this goal so woke up at 5:30am and rolled out of bed to go. I was really prepared this time to combat all the excuses that I am brilliant at coming up with at this hour of the day ('It's cold and dark outside, I'm tired, my bed feels so delightful, if I go I'll have to wear socks!' etc...). I had a no excuses mind set, I knew exactly what I routine I was going to do when I got there and had decided to sleep in my workout clothes and when I woke up just go, not doing anything to make myself presentable. (This sounds weird but I am very sloth-like in the morning and before I know it, its too late for me to go cause it has taken me 2 hours to wash my face and pick out my gym clothes). Anyways, I truly just rolled out of bed, literally, put on my tennis shoes and left. Aaaaand here is what happened when I walked through the door.
I go up to the counter to tell the gym guy my membership code. I say good morning. The gym guy looks at me, laughs and asks how I am. Tired?
Me: Maybe a little, I basically am not good at mornings and I may or may not have just rolled out of bed.
Him: Haha, I can tell.

Shucks! I guess I looked a 'little' disheveled. I sucked it up and tried not to care, but tomorrow maybe I will brush my hair or something.....

Thinking

I came across someone in our database today named Cinnamon, and it made me wonder well, lots of things.....

Did her parents just really like spices? Does she have siblings named Nutmeg and Majoram? Does she herself enjoy the taste of cinnamon? How do you shorten Cinnamon? Do people call her 'Cinny' cause that just sounds lame and sort of like you are trying to say Cindy but you have a speech impediment? Is she taunted with cruel nicknames like 'Cinnabuns'? Can I be her friend??

I need answers!

Wondering

Was the invention of pointed toe high heels some cruel joke?

Worky Work Work

Just a little background (while trying not give too much detail). I work with trusts. Native American minor trusts to be specific. We get quite a bit of correspondence from clients, usually applying to withdraw funds from their trusts. Sometimes we get really random letters like one from today:

To Whom It May Concern:

My service address is different
from my mailing address. All
of my important mail goes to a
PO Box. Thought I needed to
explain. A PO Box is for life. 


Hahaha! Always remember kids, A PO BOX IS FOR LIFE. Now excuse me while I make a t-shirt with this on it.

Car Keyz

My favorite thing to believe in is the possibility of finding a cheaper replacement car key than the $280 key that the dealership would have me believe is the only option. You gotta have faith people - FAITH!

A trip inside my brain

The shampoo I have been using lately is nasty crap and makes my hair look like and old sea hag. So, today after work I decided to go to Ulta and just browse the shampoo to see if anything catches my fancy (and to see if that thing which caught my fancy was on sale, being the cheapskate/poor person that I am).

The second I walked in the door a shampoo which always works really good for my hair was sitting there on this well lighted and prominent sale pedestal as if to say (in a sultry welcoming voice) "I've been waiting for you" so I go over and proceed to take off the cap and smell it, cause that's what I do, I smell things. Anyways it is at this point that I realize that the smell of this shampoo/conditioner duo makes me want to vomit, which is why I stopped using it.

Thankfully all the other varieties of this shampoo were ALSO on sale so I go about smelling all of them and reading each one's proclaimed benefits (makes hair feel soft and smooth....like butter! for instance). And here is where it started getting complicated. It seemed like if the smell was pleasing, it was definitely not made for a hair type such as mine (Smell: Cherry Almond, good. 'Specially formulated for African fro-hair' - not me). If it was the right type for my hair it smelled like sweaty boy armpits.

From here I decided to look at other brands, which is when I cracked and started going a little nutters (you know, crazy) wandering around the store excessively smelling rows and rows of shampoo bottles. The girl that worked there kept asking if she could help me find anything and would shoot me looks of concern every so often. I on the other hand could barely stop in my quest for shampoo/conditioner nirvana, to reply that I was doing great, and didn't need help finding anything at all.

On my third or fourth circuit of the store I started thinking that really I didn't need shampoo/conditioner, so my hair felt like a raffia-steel wool combination and I didn't go out in public anymore because it looked nasty. So what! I come from sturdy pioneer stock, I would find a way to carry on! Then I started thinking that the cost of shampoo is ridiculous these days and who even invented shampoo anyways and why should I be pay $14 when I could get a bottle of Suave for $2.75!? It just seemed wrong. THEN, I started thinking that I could buy some shampoo but, what if it was crappy like the stuff I already had at home!? Buying it would be a gamble, and I decided long ago that gambling is not for me! Then, then.......

I reached back and brushed a lock of hair over my shoulder and it felt just awful and I realized that I needed new shampoo and I needed it tonight! I trudged back up to the front of the store and grabbed one of the smell good bottles.

SO, if you see me sporting some African fro hair, you will know why.......

Texting

Sometimes me and my brother will text each other about whatever. It usually gets ridiculous. Here is a little sampling.....

D: Hey! When do I get my free haircut this month? (I sometimes cut my brothers hair. Which is a win-win for both of us since he gets a free haircut and I get to use scissors! On someone's hair!Weeeeee!)
Me: Whenever you come and bring me presents :) (obviously I would do it for free, I might even pay HIM to let me cut it, but I thought hey it never hurts to ask for presents, something I learned from Santa Clause & Christmas)
D: I dont like that idea.... I like when my hairdresser comes to me!
Me: Well I guess we dont always get what we want.... I do but I've heard dome people dont haha!
D: Lol ur so funny! Maybe after I come get my hair cut I can play poker with you (He is NOT talking about real poker with cards, which I would not be opposed to. But means this horrible game of Poke Her (meaning me) until I scream. Both of my brothers do this to me and its not fun but they think its hilarious)
Me: I'm really more into go fish or monopoly, connect 4, that sort of thing.
D: Well TOO FLIPPIN BAD! WE WILL BE PLAYING POKER
Me: Whatever - poker is "fine" I just thought it would be nice to try a different game is all. Are you really gonna come over? Are your bringing presents?? Are you Santa!?
I didnt get a text back after this so I sent him another...
Me: Dang my text was fun-E & you didnt even write back.....obviously you have no soul.
D: Sorry it was a little uneventful... Lol I have presents if you come to me but there are just too many to bring to you
Me: Now I shall not respond to you! Muahahahaha evil laugh! Wait....
D: Haha but I think u forgot one tiny little detail in ur evil plan to not text me back... U must respond if you want me to tell you....
Me: Oh please Mr "knower of things that may in fact be lame" tell me this detail that promises to be most wonderful and glorious!
D: Haha its the fact that you wont stop! Hahaha my eviler plan to get you to keep texting me has worked and yours has failed!! Muuahahahhhaaaahahhaahhhaa!
Me: Oh puh-lease! This isnt even me texting back, its another person that is not me so.....yah!
D: Really? Well then who is it since its not you texting me!
Me: Sylvia
D: Oh really!? But I thought you had a hot date tonight!
Me: That is true......
D: Aha! I knew it wasn't you Sylvia! Now who is it! I demand to know!
Me: It is me, Bernice
D: Bernice? Whatup B-dawg! Hey... wait! I thought you were in China fighting the deadly disease
Me: I'm on lunch break and uh I bit myself shaving so....just getting that taken care of .....on my lunch break
D: I think that ur lying!
Me: No I can prove it! Who else would know about the unicorn shaped birth mark on the middle of your face!

The End

The Post Office

Today I went to the post office during my lunch break, a place I do not go often. The reason for my trip today to this mystical place, was to pick up my mail since it had been accumulating for uhm....months? I am too cool for school and also checking my mail (a.k.a lazy... AND nothing good ever seems to come in the mail). As I waited I came to the conclusion that I hate going to the post office but secretly I kind of like it. The reason for this is because the people there are a little bit off and it's fun for me to observe them. I feel like they are teetering on the verge of crazy, and I am hoping a little bit to see them snap (not in a gunning people down sort of way though - dangerous!).

One man in particular is my favorite. If I were in charge of naming him, he would be called Bernard, he could very well be on a bowling league. He is older, balding, heavyset and probably gets no respect. But at the post office he is king. He knows all there is to know about everything mail related and is not afraid to tell you a thing or two if you have your facts wrong. He seems to laugh inwardly at the ignorance of the masses regarding mail. A younger guy also works there who seems to be completely lacking any personality whatsoever, almost like a robot. He is my least favorite but also seems very knowledgeable about the old USPS. Last but not least is a brash sort of Chicago accented lady, who quite frankly scares me a little bit. She is like a scolding mother and I was hoping I would not be her next victim since I saw her berate the girl in front of me for not getting her mail in a timely fashion. If she had any idea how long I had waited to get my mail I feared she would make a public example of me and have me sent through the mail workers gauntlet or something.

As luck would have it I heard her call out 'Next!' when it was my turn. She ended up giving me a good stern lecture on the virtues of checking my mail frequently. But it wasn't really that bad. It was very motherly, like she just wanted what was best for me. I took it all in stride and promised to do better. I think she felt satisfied and I felt satisfied because it made me feel good to experience a little crazy in my day.

Thinking

I want nothing more than to make a documentary and learn what heck I should do with the acorn squash I purchased yesterday. These things are completely unrelated, I do not for instance want to make a documentary on what I should do with my acorn squash.